Wednesday 16 December 2009

S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. New Orders: Operation Defenestration

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WARNING: CLASSIFIED MATERIAL

UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS WILL BE DETECTED, OBSERVED, AND SEVERELY DEALT WITH TO THE FULL EXTENT OUTSIDE THE LAW

THIS IS YOUR SOLE WARNING
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12/16/09

Disturbing news, gentlemen.

The Enemy has many faces, some connected, some sprouting from the quagmire of intellectual pretension independently. Regardless of the origin, the heads of the Enemy must be relieved of their shoulders. Howardom has advanced far in the past few decades, and we cannot allow the old mistakes, myths, misinterpretations and outright lies to gain a foothold.

Your target is Margaret Van Ostrond. She is a humour writer, most well known for writing the insufferable gags of countless game shows, light opinion pieces in minor newspapers (light in tone and light in opinion), and her own technicolour-bordered website. However, this does not make her any less dangerous than former adversaries, for the power of The Enemy is subtle and insinuous. Already, two subjects known as Kelly Melcher & Summer Suzuki have been compromised, believing Van Ostrond's outrageous nonsense as truth. She must be stopped. A photograph of the target is provided here:


Your orders: review Margaret Van Ostrond's essay "Was Conan the Barbarian Really a Fictional Character" and post your response in the comments section. Van Ostrond's poisonous, sensationalist tract must be destroyed and discredited as the sub-literary hackwork it is. Many allies of S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. and fellow proponents of The Cause have made their presence known: Damon Sasser, Scott Oden, David Gentzel, Dennis McHaney, Frank Coffman, Rob Roehm, Scotty Henderson, James Reasoner, Lisa Tomacek-Bias, and the mysterious al-Harron. S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. are the front line in defense of Robert E. Howard, and we must lead by example. Suffer not the hack to lie.

Shields Up,

Agent Taranaich

2 comments:

  1. Agent Taranaich!

    Since you wrote this report, Patrice Louinet, Mike Chivers (alias Mikey_C, moderator on the REH forum), Brian Leno, Bill "Indy" Cavalier, Charles Gramlich, Dave Hardy and Yours Truly have all added a comment.

    The last De Campista, GR, wrote something too.

    Agent Le Vyonnaise.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agent Le Vyonnaise!

    Good to know such heavyweights have joined in the fight. The Cause couldn't have hoped for a heartier vanguard.

    GR may be the last, but his use of obfuscating misdirection is still potent and dangerous. I can't believe his gall, in choosing to defend De Camp when REH needs him! It's like defending a French ship at the Battle of Waterloo. Further proof that the Decampistas are hopelessly compromised.

    Agent Taranaich

    ReplyDelete